Cape Town

I am currently in Cape Town on holiday and it is beautiful. It is truly a place to dream and be free. A place to ask do you believe in fairies? Do you believe in love and dreams come true? When so much beauty surrounds you, you can't help but stand in wonder and say yes...yes I believe.

In today's world your average life would go something like this:
-get a degree
-get a good job
-date a few guys or girls
-define your life by relationships
-have a kid
-get married
-clean the dishes
-clean the house
-offer your life up for your children
-have a mid-life crisis wondering why you never did the things you wanted
-die

However tempting that may sound, it is not the pattern that I want for my life.
I am a so called free spirit that was born with an implanted need for fire, for passion, for adventure and the unknown. I want to travel to different countries and get lost in different cultures. I want to take Bibles to Africa and care for the people in my everyday life...My biggest fear is living and ordinary life. I can only pray that God will guide me into the direction that He wants me to go. To impact a generation, be a history maker and leave a mark. And maybe someday when I am ready I will be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making food and doing the dishes...but even then I will do it in my levi jeans, because I want to and with PASSION...

2010 at a glance

If I quickly look back at 2010 it is easy to label it as the most difficult year of my life yet. If I take a deeper look I realise that I have achieved alot and learned alot of valuable lessons.

looking back on 2010:

1. I have ended a relationship
2. I started a relationship
3. I was dumped
4. Laptop/internet/blue screen of death/computer problems all sorted out by me
5. Made a lot of money
6. Lost a lot of money
7. Kissed to many guys
8. Mended my broken heart
9. Drank to much
10. been mugged twice
11. went to a movie alone
12. went to mugg and bean for a whole day on my own working on my laptop
13. enjoyed my job
14. hated my job
15. attended oppikoppi/bierfees kroondal and had loads of fun
16. hosted many parties on my balcony
17. broke a few hearts
18. met awesome people
19. made awesome friends
20. got beaten up
21. danced until the club closed
22. worked through depression
23. had to many fights (and realise I want to approach life in peaceful matter)
24. learned that my sister and my friend is pregnant
25. celebrated birthdays, engagements and being alive
26. took to many risks (yes that is possible)
27. enjoyed being single and realised that it is something that I just might want to be for the rest of my life
28. realised that I'd rather travel than have children
29. read EAT, PRAY, LOVE (and rediscovered my love for books)
30. Spent many mornings in bed reading
31. forgave myself
32. forgave other people
33. got to know and understand my God-given purpose in life
34. watched TO SAVE A LIFE (and read the book) and it CHANGED MY LIFE
35. the Holy Spirit started working in me softly, slowly and carefully
36. went back to church
37. found an awesome sel group
38. got my joy back
39. remembered why I am alive
40. loved alot

and now....now I just have this continuous joy in my heart. The never ending beating of life. That reminds me that I want to make a difference. That I want to be a fruitcake for God...That I want to volunteer, help people and live a life where God is my CENTER. Where everything is flowing out of my relationship with Him. A life of love.

Has it been a hard year? Most defnitely
Did it shape me and mold me into the person that God wants me to be? Well it defnitely started to...In my 23 years alive I can truly say that this has been my hardest year yet, but I am better because of it. I believe that God has amazing, awesome, powerful stuff in store for us for 2011. And what better way to start the new year than in cape town.

secret place

Out of the secret place
A river will flow
I will listen
And I will go


Send me
use me
Here I am
A fool for others
But a queen in Your hand

Judgment
Hypocrisy
Keep them away from me
Who are they to say
What I must be

A free spirited dreamer
You use me just as I am
God dwells in you as you
We have to believe
That the God of the universe
Is inside of you and me

I run to You

Lord I am helpless and You are my help
I am broken and You make me whole
You give me a still awareness of You
You give me quiet peace
...I run to You

with open arms You embrace me
You hold me in Your arms
and sing me a song of Love
I was faithless but You gave me faith
I was lost but now I am found

You birthed a purpose in my heart
A love for all mankind
You fix my butterfly wings
and I can fly

I can't promise that I won't fall
I am flaud, my mistakes are plenty
A sinner saved by Your grace
but I do promise
to never give up
to hold unto You
of Your hand I will not let go

inspiration