Cape Town

I am currently in Cape Town on holiday and it is beautiful. It is truly a place to dream and be free. A place to ask do you believe in fairies? Do you believe in love and dreams come true? When so much beauty surrounds you, you can't help but stand in wonder and say yes...yes I believe.

In today's world your average life would go something like this:
-get a degree
-get a good job
-date a few guys or girls
-define your life by relationships
-have a kid
-get married
-clean the dishes
-clean the house
-offer your life up for your children
-have a mid-life crisis wondering why you never did the things you wanted
-die

However tempting that may sound, it is not the pattern that I want for my life.
I am a so called free spirit that was born with an implanted need for fire, for passion, for adventure and the unknown. I want to travel to different countries and get lost in different cultures. I want to take Bibles to Africa and care for the people in my everyday life...My biggest fear is living and ordinary life. I can only pray that God will guide me into the direction that He wants me to go. To impact a generation, be a history maker and leave a mark. And maybe someday when I am ready I will be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making food and doing the dishes...but even then I will do it in my levi jeans, because I want to and with PASSION...

2010 at a glance

If I quickly look back at 2010 it is easy to label it as the most difficult year of my life yet. If I take a deeper look I realise that I have achieved alot and learned alot of valuable lessons.

looking back on 2010:

1. I have ended a relationship
2. I started a relationship
3. I was dumped
4. Laptop/internet/blue screen of death/computer problems all sorted out by me
5. Made a lot of money
6. Lost a lot of money
7. Kissed to many guys
8. Mended my broken heart
9. Drank to much
10. been mugged twice
11. went to a movie alone
12. went to mugg and bean for a whole day on my own working on my laptop
13. enjoyed my job
14. hated my job
15. attended oppikoppi/bierfees kroondal and had loads of fun
16. hosted many parties on my balcony
17. broke a few hearts
18. met awesome people
19. made awesome friends
20. got beaten up
21. danced until the club closed
22. worked through depression
23. had to many fights (and realise I want to approach life in peaceful matter)
24. learned that my sister and my friend is pregnant
25. celebrated birthdays, engagements and being alive
26. took to many risks (yes that is possible)
27. enjoyed being single and realised that it is something that I just might want to be for the rest of my life
28. realised that I'd rather travel than have children
29. read EAT, PRAY, LOVE (and rediscovered my love for books)
30. Spent many mornings in bed reading
31. forgave myself
32. forgave other people
33. got to know and understand my God-given purpose in life
34. watched TO SAVE A LIFE (and read the book) and it CHANGED MY LIFE
35. the Holy Spirit started working in me softly, slowly and carefully
36. went back to church
37. found an awesome sel group
38. got my joy back
39. remembered why I am alive
40. loved alot

and now....now I just have this continuous joy in my heart. The never ending beating of life. That reminds me that I want to make a difference. That I want to be a fruitcake for God...That I want to volunteer, help people and live a life where God is my CENTER. Where everything is flowing out of my relationship with Him. A life of love.

Has it been a hard year? Most defnitely
Did it shape me and mold me into the person that God wants me to be? Well it defnitely started to...In my 23 years alive I can truly say that this has been my hardest year yet, but I am better because of it. I believe that God has amazing, awesome, powerful stuff in store for us for 2011. And what better way to start the new year than in cape town.

secret place

Out of the secret place
A river will flow
I will listen
And I will go


Send me
use me
Here I am
A fool for others
But a queen in Your hand

Judgment
Hypocrisy
Keep them away from me
Who are they to say
What I must be

A free spirited dreamer
You use me just as I am
God dwells in you as you
We have to believe
That the God of the universe
Is inside of you and me

I run to You

Lord I am helpless and You are my help
I am broken and You make me whole
You give me a still awareness of You
You give me quiet peace
...I run to You

with open arms You embrace me
You hold me in Your arms
and sing me a song of Love
I was faithless but You gave me faith
I was lost but now I am found

You birthed a purpose in my heart
A love for all mankind
You fix my butterfly wings
and I can fly

I can't promise that I won't fall
I am flaud, my mistakes are plenty
A sinner saved by Your grace
but I do promise
to never give up
to hold unto You
of Your hand I will not let go

inspiration

single

discovering me
scary but free
single is how
i like to be

no silly little fights
no does or dont's
whenever i want
i pack my bags and go

i,m not looking for a man
so stop telling me to
go out and find someone new

i dont do relationships
i,m not looking for mr. right
but that doesn't mean
i dont have love in my life

slow motion suicide

your holding the devil in your hand
slow motion suicide
your children doesn't understand

lying on the floor
your wife picks you up
and pray once more

when must we let go of this hope that springs
holding on with faith as thin as a string

waag n bietjie

kom ons speel langs n afgrond
net ek en jy
hou my net vas
as my voet wil gly

kom ons gaan swem in riviere
en dans op strande rond
hardloop in die reen
en word siels gesond

twee aparte harte
trek na mekaar
niks kan dit keer nie
want
die chemistry is daar

no I can't call you superman

when i was 17

i looked at you and saw superman

through all my pain and my tears

you held my hand



when i was 18

i saw batman

cause you held me

and took me to another land



19,20,21,22

where did i lose you?

was there to many things

we had to go through

no more emotion

no more flame

only the biterness remained

LOVE

Lost

weary

down

and

out



what

is

life

about?



then You take my hand and capture me

You show me You, and let me be

You hold me tight

never let me fall

You rescue me from the storm

You keep me safe

let me rise above

You cover me with Your never ending love



Extravagant dimensions of Your love fall on me

It roots me, grounds me and sets me free

It is to much - to wide and deep

for me to understand

You gave me Your Son

I will take Your hand



I will reach out for Your fullness

and live a full life

a life of LOVE

following Christ



And I pray that all my friends

will be filled with Your divine Presence

help them understand

nothing can seperate them

or tare them

from the love of our awesome God

or out of His hands

fairy dust

I wave my magic wand
And say goodbye
Take my fairy wings
And away I fly

I have loads of buckets
To catch all my tears
I chase the new rainbows
Without any fears

Traces of fairy dust
I leave on your face
The touch of your hand
Will leave a trace

But goodbyes are forever
A broken mirror is just that
No way to ever fix’s the cracks

love 4 a hypocrite

i feel like a hypocrite
like i am torn in two
between what i am doing
and what i know i should do

but i dont feel the fire?
i dont feel the flame?
i dont want to do what is right
out of the rules or law
but when i am moved by the spirit
and i am ready for more

Your Word and Your Spirit
not just words i want to use
i need a revelation
i need You

but while i am broken
i am still at peace
because i know You died for and love
the hypocrite in me

the august wind

as the wind is blowing
it is clearing all my thoughts
i drown in my imagination
and see you standing with a torch

looking for your light
i am crawling through the darkness
angels fall around me
as demons take a bite

my cries sounds so hollow
nobody can hear or understanding
while i am looking for the light
i need a helping hand

ou drome - nuwe hoop

Hardloop ek in strate van ou drome af
ek het my hart vir iemand terug gegee
dans ek op strande van nuwe hoop
ek het dit nog altyd geweet

as jy my hart so oopskeur
om te kyk wat jy sou sien
geluk, vrede, geloof en liefde
meer as wat jy verdien

a quick fling

beatle juice and roxette
dancing till my hair is wet
fun and party all night long
singing in the car till dawn
but also about the deeper things
together our hearts remembered Him

choosing me

you showed me your scares
and i opened up my heart
but you couldn't see
the love in me

you made my world spin
you made it go round
but all you could ever do
is put me down

I,m letting go
so that I can see
all the beauty
inside of me

ek en jy

hallo
bye
kan jy raai
ek het jou oneindig lief

4 jaar saamgeweef
in n tapyt van herinneringe
jy bly een van my favourite dinge

my beste vriend
Heilige gees gedrewe
mag ons alles deel
in hierdie lewe

ons pad besaai met God se liefde
die dibbeltjies is net daar om te oorwin

Goodbye - for my granddad

if i could hold you one last time
i would never let you go
just to see your face again
i would give my all

never had the chance to say goodbye
or kiss you on the head
please forgive for the things
that i never said